OREGON, United States — Sam Parsons felt that he was in the best shape of his life when he
lined up for the start of the 5,000 meters at the Drake Relays in April. He had
used the yearlong Olympic postponement to ramp up his training with the goal of
competing for Germany at the
Tokyo Games this summer.
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But as his mileage increased, so, too, did the pressure —
the pressure to actually qualify for the
Olympics after having invested so much
extra time and effort in the pursuit.
“I could feel that tension constantly,” Parsons said. “And I
know so many athletes who pushed themselves into an unsafe space just because
we all wanted to get to the Olympics so badly. So many people kept their foot
on the gas for so long, and you can only give so much.”
For Parsons, the pent-up stress finally surfaced after he
faded to a 10th-place finish, a disappointing result for a runner whose dream
suddenly seemed in danger of slipping beyond reach. He recalled that as he took
his first faltering steps on a cool-down jog, his heart was racing so fast that
it felt like it might explode.
He was fortunate, he said, that Jordan Gusman, one of his
teammates from Tinman Elite, a running club based in Colorado, was with him.
Sensing Parsons might collapse, Gusman held him upright and reassured him that
he would be OK. Parsons later learned that he had been having a panic attack.
“That’s a place I never want to be in again,” he said, “and
luckily I was able to get help.”
For many Olympic hopefuls, the past year and a half was a
period of great uncertainty and mounting anxiety. As athletes like Parsons
pressed forward through the pandemic, they grappled with shuttered training
facilities, canceled meets and shoestring budgets. There was also the big
unknown: whether the Tokyo Games would happen at all.
“I think it’s been a very, very rough 15 months for a whole
bunch of athletes,” said Steven Ungerleider, a sports psychologist based in
Oregon who serves on the executive board of the International Paralympic
Committee.
The strain was especially pronounced for those whose sports
are primarily showcased at the Olympics: swimmers and divers, gymnasts and
rowers, runners and jumpers. Many are creatures of habit with strict routines
and single-minded goals, and the pandemic was the ultimate disruption.
“They’re obsessed with getting up in the morning and eating
certain things and getting out for their run and seeing their trainer and
talking with their coaches,” Ungerleider said. “So when things were getting a little uncertain, that’s
the worst thing that can happen to an elite athlete. It was driving them
crazy.”
Athletes are saying so themselves, speaking frankly in
interviews and on social media about their mental health, a subject that no
longer carries the stigma in sports and in society that it once did.
Simone Manuel, a four-time medalist in swimming at the 2016
Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, cast a spotlight on some of those mental health
issues after she placed a distant ninth in the 100-meter freestyle at the US
Olympic trials last month, revealing that she had been diagnosed in March with
overtraining syndrome. Her symptoms included muscle soreness, weight loss and
fatigue. She later qualified for the Olympics in the 50-meter freestyle.
“During this process, I definitely was depressed,” she told
reporters. “I isolated myself from my family.”
A host of runners withdrew from the recent US Olympic track
and field trials in Eugene, Oregon, citing injuries and fatigue. Colleen
Quigley, a steeplechaser, said in a social media post that she was stepping
away to take a break “both mentally and physically.” Drew Hunter, one of
Parsons’ teammates with Tinman Elite, revealed that he had torn the plantar tissue
in his foot. And Molly Huddle, one of the most decorated distance runners in
American history, scratched because of issues with her left leg.
“It was harder to do anything athletically as far as having
access to facilities and treatment, and you wind up compromising in all the
things that you were maximizing before,” Huddle said in an interview before the
trials. “At the same time, it never felt like we could ever really rest.”
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