A consensus seems to exist that,
at some point in every adult’s life, they should let go of their old,
“
childish” hobbies and “grow up”. “You will regret spending all this time
playing your silly little games instead of working,” is the critical attitude
of someone trying to convince a friend or family member to give up a hobby.
اضافة اعلان
Indeed, there
may be certain situations where an individual needs to invest more time in
serious, “adult” pursuits. But dropping a hobby — or never developing one in
the first place — is not always the best decision.
Time to lighten up
Often, there is a lack of
enthusiasm surrounding hobbies among adults, especially those with children. In
an effort to devote as much time and energy to caring for their kids as
possible, parents can slowly lose interest in life’s simpler joys. Many
children remark that they only see their parents working and doing chores,
never taking time for themselves to do something they enjoy. You know it is
time to lighten up a little when your own children ask you to stop doing so
much for them.
What is more
interesting, these child-centric adults are often the ones criticizing others’
hobbies and their ability to practice them at an older age. “You still do
that?” with a scoff or a laugh is a common reaction to adult hobbyists.
“Judgement is
usually what I first get when telling people that I play video games
frequently,” Anna, a 31-year-old artist and gamer, told
Jordan News. “I work, I
pay bills, and I live very comfortably. Yet many people still criticize what I
do in my free time.”
Anna recalled
several times when her parents and their friends “would make fun of me and
compare me to their teenage children”. While expressing her frustration with
this criticism, she said that she would never stop gaming for the sake of
others’ approval.
There is another
element of pressure that Anna faces because of her hobby: she said that she is
“almost bullied” for being a woman who games. “I am shamed over and over again
for supposedly being bad at the games I play specifically because I am a
woman.”
Certain hobbies,
including video gaming, racing, fishing, among others, are often regarded as
“masculine” hobbies. One might expect the article “45 manly hobbies” by
lifestyle site Art of Manliness and the article “10 manliest hobbies on earth”
from Men’s
Health magazine to include mustache-grooming and bodybuilding (which
is not even strictly for men). But no — these lists include hobbies such as
“chess” and “reading”, in addition to more traditionally masculine pursuits
such as car restoration and hunting. The gendering of hobbies further
contributes to the culture of shame adult hobbyists encounter.
‘At your age?’
Ahmad Salah, a 45 year-old Lego collector, laughed when asked about
common reactions to his hobby.
“The first
reaction is usually a shocked expression, followed by ‘are you serious, a man
at your age?’ with a laugh, or worse yet: ‘You haven’t stopped playing with
Legos after 40 years?’,” Salah said.
“I stopped
telling people about it. I never got a good reaction except from non-judgmental
kids and maybe a few cousins,” he said. “At some point in my past, I considered
stopping this hobby, even though it brought me joy.”
For Salah, a
love for Legos did start at a young age. “I still remember my first-ever Lego
set. I still have it, even though it is missing a couple of pieces. It was the
1983 LEGOLAND space set,” he reminisced.
Thankfully, not
all the people in Saleh’s life ridicule him for his block-building passion.
Appreciatively, he remarked that his wife of 21 years is “incredibly
supportive” of his hobby as a LEGO collector, and that she spends time enjoying
her own hobbies. This support from his partner has been the main factor
allowing him to keep going with his collection, in spite of the bullets fired
from others around him.
Gold does not
always glitter
While shaming is a prominent deterrent in the world of hobbies, there
is another factor also pressuring people away from the pure delight of
leisurely pursuits. The rise-and-grind culture so prevalent these days comes in
with the quick quip: “You should profit off of that.”
Instead of
shaming people for having hobbies in the first place, this negative stream
degrades hobbyists for simply enjoying their pastimes without bringing in any
monetary profit. Some of the most common hobbies targeted with this mindset are
art and writing — talents that can be monetarily compensated for some, but do
not necessarily have to be paid for those who simply want an innocent pastime.
“Creative
pursuits have lost their joy,” writes Laura Winter, a fiction writer, on the
thought platform Medium. “Suddenly, ‘I like to write in my spare time’ turns
into ‘well, how do you make money off of it? Where are you published? Why don’t
you have an agent?’”
These critics
fail to grasp that, as soon as you monetize your hobby, you are less likely to
enjoy it in your free time as a way to de-stress. It becomes a grueling job
that needs up-keep to continue turning a profit.
In the article
“The complicated reality of doing what you love” on Vox, artist and writer
Marian Bull comments on the transformation of hobbies into full-time jobs.
“Cooking had once been the thing I did to relax when I got home from work, the
thing I was curious about, the thing that distracted my brain from its standard
litany of complaints,” she said.
Eventually, Bull
monetized her cooking, and it changed her experience of the hobby. “Puttering
in the kitchen had once been a release, but now it was part of my professional
life. It needed a replacement.”
Adult hobbyists
simply cannot catch a break, whether from the pressure of family and friends to
stop their supposedly “childish” hobbies, or the critiques of random strangers
saying that un-monetized pastimes to are a waste of time. But the purpose of
hobbies in the first place is to enjoy free time by pursuing something you
love. Life is short, and enjoyable pursuits are part of how we live it to the
fullest. Let us give each other — and ourselves — a chance to do so.
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