Girls are more sensitive when dealing with emotions, making them more in need of understanding emotional intelligence and its skills to effectively handle various situations. Emotional intelligence is not something we are born with; rather, we acquire it through diverse experiences. It holds great importance, especially when entering new environments, whether for work or study.
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Emotions affect us perhaps more than we imagine. According to Marc Brackett, founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of the book "Permission to Feel," emotions are present whether we like it or not, and our skills in dealing with them determine the extent of success we can achieve.
Brackett notes that emotional intelligence consists of the strategies we use to manage our emotions to achieve good relationships and successful goals. It involves thoughts and actions, and our feelings can be changed by altering our way of thinking and repeatedly performing specific actions.
According to Greater Good, experts say that people can generally prevent unwanted emotions, reduce difficult feelings, begin focusing on the emotions they want to feel, and maintain positive ones. In short, emotion regulation is a set of goals and strategies that vary depending on the feeling we are experiencing, who we are, and the situation we are in.
This skill is essential for building successful relationships with others, and it is a key factor in understanding yourself and your needs. Emotional intelligence helps you handle difficult moments in your life and grants you strength in your career path, as it makes you more stable and collaborative within a work team.
The role of emotional intelligence is not limited to improving our relationships with others; by developing a deeper understanding and closer connection with our own feelings and needs through learning these skills, we will be able to build a more balanced life and maintain better mental health.
In addition to being useful in managing personal relationships, emotional intelligence is a cornerstone for your future career. Most robotics and artificial intelligence experts emphasize, according to MindTools, that tasks requiring emotional intelligence are the most difficult to replace with machines, making them essential in the future job market.
Researchers have developed various models for emotional intelligence. One popular model by psychologist Daniel Goleman suggests the presence of four core skills:
Emotional Awareness:
The biggest mistake we make is treating emotions as a vague blur. When you say, "I am broken," you are generalizing. Emotional intelligence begins with precise labeling: Are you angry? Frustrated? Afraid? Or do you feel insulted?
How to acquire it:
The next time you feel distressed, pause for a few seconds—do not act. Ask yourself: "What is the exact name of this feeling?" Once the feeling is named, it transforms from a "monster" controlling you into a "message" you can understand and handle.
Self-Regulation:
This is the skill that protects you from impulsivity. Emotional intelligence does not mean suppressing emotions; rather, it means delaying the response. There is always a time gap between a hurtful word or work pressure and your reaction. Emotionally intelligent people are those who widen this gap.
How to acquire it:
Practice a "conscious pause." If you receive a provocative message, do not reply immediately. Take a deep breath, and step away from your surroundings even for just a minute. Ask yourself: "Does this response serve my long-term interest, or is it just an emotional release?"
Empathy:
Empathy does not mean being "nice" to everyone. In emotional intelligence, empathy means the ability to read a person. Why is this person acting this way? Is it intentional, or are they having a bad day? Understanding others' motives makes you less likely to take things personally.
How to acquire it:
While speaking with others, focus on their body language and tone of voice more than their words. Ask clarifying questions before passing judgments.
Relationship Management:
This is where the strength of emotional intelligence shines in girls. Emotional intelligence means knowing when to say "no" and how to set boundaries that protect you from emotional exhaustion.
How to acquire it:
Practice "polite confrontation." Do not let things build up inside you until you explode; instead, express your annoyance clearly and calmly at the time it occurs.
We are naturally drawn toward a person who possesses high emotional intelligence, and we feel comfortable and harmonious in their presence. This is because emotionally intelligent individuals have the ability to read social cues with above-average capabilities, and they may be able to read what others are feeling. This performance is required in all areas of life: at home, in social circles, and at work.
You can start by learning to identify and understand the emotions you feel; if you can name the emotion, your chances of comprehending what you are going through increase. You can also learn to regulate your emotions better by pausing and thinking before acting or making judgments.
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