Often, parents and children are not on the same page. From slamming doors to frustrating shouting, the gap between generations can seem wide and difficult to bridge.
اضافة اعلان
While both children and parents face their own life challenges, they often overlook each other’s struggles, unintentionally widening the emotional gap. Understanding each other’s perspectives is therefore an effective way to create a supportive home environment.
Psychologist Dr. Ajeet Dandekar offers three behavioral approaches for parents:
"Keep things simple, start with respect, aim to understand before giving instructions, and focus on effort rather than criticism. These three shifts alone can transform daily conversations at home."
What can parents do to better understand their children?
Dr. Dandekar outlines six actions parents can take to better understand their children, covering all essentials from conversation breakthroughs to emotional regulation:
Listen to understand, not to dismiss
Children rarely express themselves directly; their feelings are often wrapped in stories or behaviors. Understand what you hear to make them feel valued rather than judged.
Validate feelings before offering advice
Begin with phrases like “I understand why you feel hurt/scared” before giving guidance or correction. Validation reduces emotional intensity and opens the door to problem-solving.
Use an “emotional mirror”
Name the emotion you observe—“You seem angry and frustrated”—without lecturing. This helps children identify, regulate, and eventually adjust their reactions.
Avoid comparisons, blame, and labeling
Comparing siblings or labeling a child as lazy or procrastinating hinders communication. Praise effort, strategies, and progress rather than personality traits to strengthen resilience and a growth mindset.
Involve children in setting boundaries and routines
Invite children to help establish clear rules and expected routines. Shared responsibility promotes cooperation and reduces daily power struggles.
Quick repair after disruptions
If you overreact, apologize from the perspective of your parental role, recognizing that children also experience pressures and emotions. Understanding is a mutual effort.
Three ways children can understand their parents’ perspective:
Acknowledge effort and boundaries
Parents balance finances, work, and caregiving. Recognizing their efforts—e.g., “Thank you for trying to make time today”—reduces conflict and fosters mutual empathy.
Express feelings and needs clearly
Use “I” statements: “I felt ignored when…” or “I need 10 minutes to explain…” instead of withdrawing or shouting.
Join in the solution
Offer ideas, accept reasonable limits, and adhere to agreed routines. Cooperation demonstrates maturity and builds trust.
--Agencies
