Your child may not tell you they are anxious, but they might ask you ten times whether you will return home, complain of stomach pain every morning before school, become upset over seemingly minor things, or refuse to try activities they once enjoyed. In such cases, the problem may not be the behaviour itself, but emotions the child does not know how to express.
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This highlights the importance of paying attention to children’s mental health, not as a secondary concern that comes after academic achievement and good behaviour, but as an essential part of a child’s development, sense of security, ability to learn, and capacity to build relationships. A child who appears fine on the outside may be carrying fears that deserve to be heard rather than dismissed.
But why does anxiety increase in some children, and how can we recognise it?
Anxiety is not, in itself, an illness. It is a natural response that helps people prepare for new or potentially challenging situations. A child may feel anxious before an exam, when moving to a new school, or when separated from their parents. What warrants attention, however, is anxiety that persists, becomes intense, or affects the details of everyday life.
There is no single explanation for childhood anxiety. Several factors may overlap, including academic pressure and fear of failure, bullying, family changes, exposure to traumatic events, frequent comparisons with others, and feeling compelled to meet expectations that exceed a child’s abilities.
A child’s temperament, previous experiences, and surrounding environment may also influence how they respond to different situations.
Conversely, a supportive home and school environment can help strengthen a child’s sense of security and ability to cope with stress. The signs of anxiety do not look the same in every child. Some may experience difficulty sleeping, recurring stomachaches or headaches, irritability, excessive attachment to their parents, constant requests for reassurance, or avoidance of school and social situations.
Another child may show anxiety through difficulty concentrating, declining academic performance, silence, or withdrawal. It is important not to interpret every one of these behaviours as a mental health disorder. Instead, we should consider how often they occur, the circumstances in which they appear, and how much they affect the child’s life, while also taking possible physical causes into account.
The World Health Organization notes that anxiety can begin during childhood or adolescence and that anxiety disorders can be treated effectively. Early detection, therefore, does not mean labelling a child with a diagnosis; it means understanding what they are experiencing and providing appropriate support before their distress grows.
What does an anxious child need from family and school?
First and foremost, a child needs to feel that their emotions are heard and accepted, even when their fears seem unreasonable to adults. When a child says, “I’m scared,” responses such as “There’s nothing to be afraid of” or “You’re exaggerating” may discourage them from expressing themselves, but they do not mean the fear has disappeared.
A better response would be: “I understand that you’re scared. Let’s think together about what might help.” Acknowledging a feeling does not reinforce fear; it gives the child a safe space to understand and manage it.
It is also important to help children name their emotions and calmly ask what is worrying them, rather than overwhelming them with advice and a stream of questions. Children can be taught calm breathing, healthy sleep habits, and the importance of suitable physical activity. Setting aside daily time for conversation and play they choose can also help.
Parents and schools should work together to reduce unnecessary pressure, take bullying seriously, and encourage effort rather than tying a child’s worth to their results or comparing them with classmates.
From a behavioural therapy perspective, helping a child does not mean shielding them from every situation that triggers anxiety, nor does it mean forcing them to confront their fears all at once. Instead, it involves teaching coping skills and helping them gradually approach feared situations at a pace suited to their age and circumstances, while reinforcing their sense of capability and achievement.
If anxiety becomes persistent or interferes with school attendance, sleep, relationships, or usual activities, it is important to seek an assessment from a qualified child mental health professional, while ruling out medical causes when necessary. Appropriate intervention varies from one child to another, and general advice alone is not sufficient in every case.
A child may not remember every word we say, but they may remember for a long time how we made them feel when they were afraid. Did they feel like a burden, or did they feel understood? Were they forced to hide their emotions to please us, or did they find someone who helped them make sense of those feelings?
Caring for children’s mental health begins with simple everyday actions: genuine listening, reassurance without ridicule, clear boundaries, expectations suited to their abilities, and seeking help when needed.
During Mental Health Awareness Month, let us remember that protecting a child does not mean preventing them from feeling fear or sadness. It means giving them the tools and safe relationships they need to work through those emotions.
Children are not expected to be strong all the time. They need to know that someone will listen to and support them as they learn to become stronger.
Behavioural therapist
Source: Al-Ghad. Reporting: Dr. Salam Ashour
