AMMAN — Every parent loves and cherishes their children
and is worried for their current and future health and happiness. Sometimes, however,
the combination of love and fear for our children, in addition to the daily
stressors a parent faces, can cause things to get out of control.
اضافة اعلان
How do parents cope, when they’re not even handed a
manual, a book, or even an app that tells you how to deal with and raise your
child?
Children’s mental health is an aspect of parenting that is
often overlooked of misunderstood. How easy it is to adversely impact
children’s personalities and mental development and, as a consequence, their
future? Conversely, what are some simple ways parents and children can be
better people, build stronger relationships, and secure a successful future?
“It is important to acknowledge a child's progress and to
make it clear to the child that all emotions and thoughts are acceptable, but
not all behaviors are acceptable,” Abdallah Abuadas, a consultant psychiatrist,
told Jordan News.
Caring for a child’s mental health helps them build
positive social, emotional, and communicational skills. It can also pave the
way for greater resilience in adulthood, according to Medibank, an
Australia-based integrated healthcare company. In Jordan, some parents consider
“tough love” a way to build their children’s resilience. Neglect, yelling, and
downplaying a child’s emotions, and mild to severe
emotional and physical abuse
are used to “educate” the child how to think and behave in life. “Children
learn by observation, and they imitate these observations.” Abuadas said.
With the help of Medibank and Dr Abuadas, here are some
tips on how to care for your child’s mental health and help them grow in to a
healthy, successful, resilient, and socially well-adjusted adult:
1. Nurture your relationship
Tell your child that you love them, no matter how
challenging their behavior. That will go a long way. Hug them as a form of
praise for good behavior. Make time in the day to talk to them, even when
you’re busy. Engage in activities that your child enjoys, like playing outside
or watching their favorite show, or reading their favorite book, Medibank recommends.
“Psychosocial parenting is much more important than the
physical parenting. Parents need to have quality time with children,” Abuadas
said.
2. Help your children connect
Encourage your children, without pressuring them, to
develop and foster social relationships outside the family. This will give them
a stronger sense of how they fit in to the world and help them to relate to
others better, Medibank said.
“Promote detachment and building meaningful social
relationships with the closer and wider community,” Abuadas said.
3. Talk it out
Help your child recognize their own voice and emotions,
ask about and check on them, especially if they are frustrated. For example,
you can tell them, “I know it is frustrating when you want to do something but
you can’t. I understand how you feel. Also, how does it make you feel when we
can’t go to the park right away?” Medibank suggests.
Dr Abuadas said that communicating with your child and
giving them your undivided attention and addressing their needs is very important,
but unfortunately is often an absent component in parent child relations.
4. Set a good example
As mentioned earlier, children learn by observing their
parents, family, and environment. To raise a healthy adult, a parent has to be
an example that shows them how to healthily manage your emotions, according to
Medibank.
“Be careful about your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
Teach your children how to control their emotions by demonstrating
self-management first,” Dr Abuadas said.
5. Set boundaries
Help your child to understand social rules and their
consequences by having a clear and consistent set of family rules to follow.
This will help your child feel safe and secure, Medibank said. “Parents should
discuss boundaries,” Dr Abuadas said.
6. Manage expectations
Make your child aware that hardship and not getting what
they wanted is a part of life, give them an example of how to deal with their
frustrations by talking about your past experiences or theirs. Show them that
they managed to survive and move on from an earlier hardship and can do so
again. For example: “Remember when you found it scary to start a new school?
And now you loved it?” Hold back, try taking a step back rather than rushing in
to help your child, Medibank said.
All the above techniques will help you and your child
reach the behavioral goals you aspire to, and you will have a strong connection
with each other and a healthy family. However, Medibank advises parents to seek
a professional psychologist or psychiatrist if have you tried all the above and
still noticed something like:
● Unusual sadness, hopelessness, and fears
● Unusual sleep patterns
● Avoiding friends, family, or school regularly
● Noticing hyperactive behavior that goes beyond regular play
● Distress or decline in school performance
● Difficulties with concentration, attention, or organization
● Any significant behavioral changes over a short time period
Always remember, there is nothing wrong if you or your
child need support because, as we mentioned earlier, no one is handed the
manual on how to be the perfect parent. Always remember that no one is perfect,
but that anyone can reach the ideal situation with love, communication, and
consistency.
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