Amman: In the memory of old Jordanian homes, there are stories that still carry the scent of bitter coffee, and the sound of cooking pots passed between neighbors in preparation for a wedding, a feast or a house of mourning. There are scenes of women sharing the work of preparing food.
اضافة اعلان
One woman borrows a large pot from her neighbor, another asks for a coffee pot or a tray for mansaf, and then the items return to their owners after the occasion, sometimes carrying a little rice or sweets, as if they carried with them the trace of the celebration and the warmth of affection.
In those homes, whose doors were open to neighbors and relatives, borrowing was not merely a necessity imposed by limited means. It was a custom that captured the story of a community that knew how to share the details of its life, and how to turn the simplest objects into bridges of affection and mutual support.
Families sharing necessities
A vessel leaves one house, a mattress is carried to another, and a coffee pot stays for days at a neighbor's. All were evidence of a time when the value of things was measured not by their price, but by the human meanings they carried and the relationships they wove between people.
In these small details, which may seem fleeting by today's standards, lies a whole social memory: women who wrote their names on utensils with nail polish so they would not get mixed up with others', grandmothers who insisted that no neighbor be turned away when asking for something, and families who shared the necessities of weddings and mourning as if the occasion belonged to everyone.
Today, as homes change, life speeds up and some old customs fade, "al ayriya," as Jordanians call it in everyday speech, is retelling its story as more than just borrowing pots and furniture. It is the story of a time when the neighbor was an extension of the home, and simple objects were a language of affection and mutual support. In that life based on sharing and cooperation, families were used to borrowing what they needed from their neighbors and relatives, whether the occasion was a wedding, a feast, a house of mourning, or a large social gathering that required preparing quantities of food and arranging seating and welcoming guests.
Writing names on borrowed utensils
Large cooking pots, coffee pots, serving trays and mansaf platters made of aluminum, along with sofas and Arab floor mattresses, were among the most common items moved from house to house as needed, then returned to their owners after the occasion.
Borrowing required no complicated procedures or arrangements. Trust between people was the foundation of this relationship, and it was natural for a woman to turn to her neighbor for what she needed, and to find there what helped her meet the occasion's requirements.
One notable detail of this heritage custom is that many women wrote their names or their family names on the utensils and household items they lent to others, using nail polish or materials that are hard to remove, so that they could be easily identified when the items were collected and returned to their owners.
Large aluminum cooking pots, mansaf platters and coffee pots looked alike in shape and size, especially when large numbers of them gathered in one place during occasions. This made writing the name a practical means of identifying each item's owner and avoiding mixing up the utensils after the feast or the mourning ended.
Utensils constantly moving between homes
One story brings these details to life through "Umm Mubarak," who used to write her name on the utensils she lent to others, so that this simple mark would be enough to distinguish her belongings at the end of the occasion. The utensils would return to the homes they came from without getting lost among similar items.
Writing names was not an expression of a strict attachment to property, so much as a practical solution imposed by the nature of life at the time, when utensils constantly moved between homes and were gathered at the end of an occasion to be returned to their owners.
Every family had its belongings, which others knew, and every woman had her own way of marking what she owned, while borrowing remained based on trust, good conduct and returning what was entrusted.
Maher Hassan recalls his grandmother's advice not to refuse neighbors who ask to borrow pots and trays, especially during seasons, in keeping with the Quranic warning against those who "withhold small kindnesses." He says this memory carries much nostalgia for him, recalling how customs have changed and simple details that once strengthened closeness among neighbors have faded, remaining present in memory as their owners pass away.
Cooperation in harvest seasons
Kinana Ali recalls some details of women's lives, when they would mark their utensils with nail polish so they would not be mixed up with other women's. These details are tied in her memory to the atmosphere of closeness and joy at the time, and her memories of them remain alive in her heart.
Ahmad Al Abboud speaks of the simplicity of life in the past, when people lived on blessing, as he put it, exchanging utensils and clothes, and helping one another during harvest seasons and in building mud houses.
"Fazaa" (communal help) was not limited to offering effort, but extended to meeting livelihood needs. Those who did not own livestock would borrow a ewe or a goat to feed their children. This custom was known as "manīha," in which the animal is returned to its owner after the milking season ends, or left as an endowment for the benefit of those in need, according to Al Abboud.
"Al ayriya" as a folk term
Al Abboud believes the value of that life became clear only after people moved to cities, where a noisy and artificial life produced social patterns that drew people away from their simplicity and diminished the warmth of the human relationships that once characterized the past.
For his part, researcher and blogger on Jordanian heritage Nayef Al Nawaiseh considers "al ayriya," the folk term for lending and borrowing, a manifestation of social solidarity and cooperation between families and individuals. He sees it as reflecting the capacity of rural society to manage its affairs by exchanging needs and relying on what neighbors, relatives and friends have.
Al Nawaiseh explains that al ayriya covered hard goods and cooking and beverage utensils, such as cooking pots, plates, spoons, cups and tea kettles, as well as tools related to raising and milking animals and producing butter and clarified butter, in addition to construction tools, and even tools used for shearing sheep. A person would borrow what they needed from a neighbor and return it after they were done using it.
Al Nawaiseh notes that Jordanian society also knew what was called "al qarḍa," the lending of edible or drinkable items such as flour, sugar and some wheat products, on the understanding that they would be returned later.
According to Al Nawaiseh, this distinction reflects the variety of forms of cooperation that helped people meet their daily needs, in living conditions that did not allow every family to own all the tools and materials it needed.
Changing lifestyles and housing
Al Nawaiseh stresses that these practices were not merely practical solutions to needs, but part of a social system built on mutual trust and cooperation, one that made the neighbor a support to his neighbor in the details of daily life.
Rural society, as he explains, was able to manage its affairs by sharing what it had, whether it concerned cooking utensils, hospitality supplies or tools needed for work and production. He adds that al ayriya extended to the supplies of social occasions. Families would borrow mattresses, quilts and blankets when hosting weddings or receiving guests, at a time when seating and sleeping areas were arranged according to need and the number of attendees.
But this picture began to fade over time, as a result of changing lifestyles, housing and the nature of occasions, and the means of meeting needs.
Relying on what neighbors have
Al Nawaiseh attributes the decline of al ayriya to a set of social and economic changes. Among them is the move from open rural houses to apartments and residential buildings, the changing nature of social occasions, the greater availability of household utensils, the faster pace of life and the spread of fast food, as well as changes in economic conditions and ways of meeting needs.
He also notes that life in the past, especially for families who lived in the countryside far from population centers, forced people to depend on one another and to rely on what neighbors had to meet needs that were difficult to provide individually.
Today, however, obtaining many items has become easier, housing and living patterns have changed, and this has reduced the practical need for the repeated borrowing that was part of daily life.
The change was not limited to household utensils, but also affected the nature of the occasions themselves. Where families once relied on their neighbors to prepare seating, receive guests and cook food, some families now depend on catering services and hospitality supplies, chairs have replaced traditional mattresses on many occasions, and the need to borrow quilts and blankets has declined as housing and hosting patterns have changed.
According to Al Nawaiseh, these transformations are inseparable from changes in the nature of social relationships and the means of managing life's affairs. Al ayriya was, in part, a response to needs imposed by the way people lived in the past. Yet it also carried a social value that went beyond material benefit, embodying trust, cooperation and a spirit of sharing among members of the community.
Returning items and looking after them
Returning items after an occasion was an essential part of this social system. Pots, coffee pots, trays and borrowed furniture were gathered and each was returned to its owner, so the relationship between homes remained based on giving and receiving, and did not end when the occasion itself ended.
The details of this custom reveal that borrowing was not a one-way relationship in which one party simply obtained what another had. It was also governed by care in returning items and looking after them.
Often, some women made sure that utensils were not returned empty. They would put in some rice, sweets or other food, as an expression of taking part in the joy and repaying kindness. The custom carried a social meaning: that giving does not end simply with returning the item to its owner.
The decline of this custom does not mean it has disappeared entirely. Some families and neighborhoods still keep it alive, though it is now confined to a narrower sphere or limited to specific items, depending on the nature of relations between neighbors and relatives and the needs of the occasion.
Published by Al Ghad. Reporting by Taghreed Al Saayda.
