Amman — A social media post by a mother describing how her son returned from school feeling sad after failing to receive the “Ideal Student” award has reignited questions about the criteria used to select students and whether they take into account the characteristics of their developmental stage. The discussion comes amid growing attention to the impact of school assessments on children’s emotions and self-image.
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The questions extend beyond the award itself to the concept of perfection that educational institutions present to children. They also raise concerns about whether efforts to instil discipline and excellence may unintentionally impose expectations beyond children’s developmental capabilities or lead some of them to link their personal worth to receiving recognition.
While encouraging positive behaviour and fostering a sense of responsibility among students remain important, there is a growing need to review school recognition criteria to account for individual differences, children’s natural personality development, their ability to learn from mistakes, express their feelings and gradually acquire social skills.
How recognition affects children’s motivation and self-image
Several psychological and educational studies have examined how recognition and competition affect children’s motivation and self-image. One such study, published this year in the journal Developmental Science, explored how children and adolescents perceive selective and inclusive reward systems.
The findings showed that participants expected winner-only awards to encourage greater effort and generate a stronger sense of pride. Adolescents also indicated that competition could be associated with behaviours such as cheating and risk-taking. Another study found that children who received praise focused on their personal traits reacted more negatively to subsequent failure than children who did not receive this type of praise.
In a related context, the mother of Rahaf, a 12-year-old student, spoke about the impact of certain school rules on students’ feelings. She said her daughter’s teacher had set specific times for leaving the classroom to use the bathroom and returning to class. This made the student anxious, fearing that the teacher might contact her mother and report that she frequently left the classroom. The situation affected her sense of security and her relationship with her mother.
Rahaf’s mother questioned the criteria behind certain school instructions, such as restricting students’ movement or preventing them from laughing and talking with their classmates in ordinary situations. She stressed that interaction and asking questions are natural behaviours for children, provided they remain within respectful boundaries.
The mother also questioned whether such behaviours genuinely undermine a student’s commitment and suitability for the ideal-student award, or whether schools should instead strike a balance between discipline and consideration for children’s psychological and developmental needs.
Taking children’s psychological and developmental needs into account
Educational expert and consultant Dr Ayesh Al-Nawaiseh said recognition and motivation are important elements in building a school environment that encourages creativity and positive learning. However, the “Ideal Student” award is often granted according to undisclosed criteria based on teachers’ accumulated impressions throughout the semester or administrators’ personal familiarity with students.
He stressed that the absence of clear criteria represents an educational flaw. A child may not understand why a classmate was selected for the award or know the basis on which the assessment was made. This can generate feelings of rejection or dissatisfaction, particularly when the child cannot find a logical explanation for not receiving recognition.
Al-Nawaiseh emphasised that the selection process should be based on clear, publicly announced and measurable educational criteria focused on positive behaviours, such as effort, motivation, cooperation, responsibility, initiative, honesty and good character. He also called for a distinction between awards recognising behaviour and those recognising academic achievement, as each has its own criteria and objectives.
He warned against reducing the concept of an “ideal student” to discipline, quietness and strict compliance with instructions. Doing so could favour quiet students at the expense of other important educational qualities, such as curiosity, asking questions and initiative, all of which contribute to children’s personal development and abilities.
Recognising differences in students’ abilities and potential
Al-Nawaiseh called for recognition systems to take students’ age and developmental stage into account, particularly in the lower grades. He explained that immediate positive reinforcement helps establish positive behaviours, while delaying recognition for weeks may weaken its educational impact, as younger children respond more strongly to immediate appreciation.
He argued that awarding one student the title of “the best among everyone” fails to account for individual differences, since children vary in their abilities and potential. Assessing a student’s progress compared with their own previous performance, rather than constantly comparing them with their peers, would therefore be a fairer approach.
The effects of this type of recognition are not limited to students who do not receive the award. They may also affect the winner, who could feel pressured to maintain the image of an “ideal student” and become afraid of making mistakes or trying new experiences for fear of losing that status. Meanwhile, classmates may feel that their efforts and abilities are not valued.
Al-Nawaiseh said the solution is not to abolish recognition but to reorganise it to make it more inclusive and equitable. He suggested introducing several award categories, such as “Star of Cooperation,” “Scientific Curiosity Award,” “Greatest Improvement Award,” “Initiative Award” and “Kindness Award.” This would give every student an opportunity to excel in an area that reflects their efforts and behaviour.
Fostering cooperation and mutual appreciation
Al-Nawaiseh emphasised the importance of using recognition based on specific criteria and awarding everyone who meets them, rather than limiting the award to a single student. He also highlighted the importance of involving students in identifying positive behaviours among their classmates and recognising collective achievements.
Such an approach, he said, would foster cooperation and mutual appreciation, making success a means of personal growth and contributing to the success of the group rather than outperforming others.
Dr Suad Ghaith, a specialist in psychological and educational counselling at The Hashemite University, similarly said that assigning general labels to students, such as “ideal student,” without defining clear and understandable criteria is a practice that needs to be reconsidered.
She stressed the importance of recognising students for specific, observable behaviours and skills, such as cooperation, initiative and helping others, as well as improvements in academic achievement and performance.
Ghaith explained that recognition should not be limited to academic or athletic excellence, nor should it rely on broad descriptions such as “ideal.” No student is perfect; every child has abilities and skills that distinguish them from others.
This makes it important to diversify recognition categories and announce the selection criteria in advance. Such measures would allow more students to receive appreciation and make the positive behaviour behind each award clear to their classmates.
Ghaith warned that linking recognition exclusively to excellence could make students with average or lower academic performance feel that their efforts are overlooked, while encouragement is concentrated on those with high marks. The alternative, she said, is to reward effort, improvement and each student’s contribution, giving every child the opportunity to feel valued and have their achievements recognised.
She noted that problems arise when a child links receiving an award to their personal worth and interprets not being recognised as evidence that they are inferior to their peers or have nothing worthy of appreciation.
In such cases, families play an important role in strengthening children’s self-confidence and reminding them of their different strengths and abilities, including helping others, cooperating with them and showing kindness, rather than reducing their worth to an award or title.
The negative effects of constant comparison with others
Regarding comparisons among students, Ghaith explained that constantly comparing children with others can negatively affect their self-confidence. Parents should instead focus on each child’s personal development and progress. Children differ in their abilities and interests: one may excel in sports, another in mathematics, and a third in social communication and building relationships.
When a child returns home feeling sad about not receiving an award, Ghaith advises parents to listen to their feelings and understand their disappointment without dismissing it or reinforcing the belief that the child deserved the award more than their classmates.
She also recommends helping the child understand the recognition criteria, encouraging them to congratulate the winning classmate and learn from the experience, while drawing attention to their own strengths and the skills they can develop.
Ghaith stressed the importance of requiring schools to be transparent about their recognition criteria. This would help children understand the reasons behind the selections and promote fairness, acceptance of differences and respect for others’ success, rather than turning school awards into a measure of a child’s worth or standing among their peers.
Source: Al-Ghad. Reportig: Taghreed Al-Saaydeh
